I am happy to announce that the aliens have returned me safe and sound.I realize that it was quite rude of me to leave you all high and dry. Believe me, none of it was intentional. I've actually just been taking a break in general. All of my blogs have suffered. I shall now be referring to this period as my vision quest.
So, what's new-
Well, to start I am obviously no longer participating in the Mominatrix challenge... seeing as how it kind of ended. I'll probably be looking for some other piece to pick up in its place, that or I'll just say the heck with it and start back up right where I left off.
I am no longer unattached as of about a week or two-ish ago. I actually don't know what I am. I've been trying out the other end of the switchy spectrum with my new boy toy.
The term boytoy doesn't really do him justice though. So far in my life I guess I've dated a lot of guys who just didn't do it for me, for one reason or another. When I was out of high school I met someone. I liked him for months in some sort of one-sided masochistic affair. Right as I started dating someone else he realized that his feelings for me were stronger than most friends. We were in love- that kind of love you only read about. The romance novel reading skeptic in me had always figured love was fictitious like unicorns and honest politicians.
Anyways, long story short, our relative poverty ended that. Love does not triumph over everything- especially not when you're still young and stupid.
Now, why am I bringing up something like that here and now you might ask. It's because I have only ever felt this feeling once in my life, with the person whom I shall always remember as the one who got away... my "soulmate".
Except...
I feel it again. This trembling anxiety and consciousness strikes me to the core.
Now, I'm normally a pretty self-confident woman, especially when it comes to men who are interested in me. With my new man it just isn't like that. There's something about him that speaks to me- and I'm afraid of losing it before it's even mine.
I know I'm kind of rambling right now but really that's what this is about. I feel the irrepressible need to write. I haven't felt this kind of inspiration in years. He made a joke early on about being my muse -and he's right.
For better or worse I want to create. I am so filled with this unnamed, indescribable crux that I can do nothing else.
I feel alive again.
